About us
This group serves all those in the San Joaquin County who practice or are curious about Consensual Non-Monogamy.
Our events are Safe Spaces and welcome to newbies, first-timers, questioners, intrinsic polys, those who've been "in it a while", and all levels of experience or lack thereof. All forms of Consensual Non-Monogamy, all ages 18+, orientations, gender identities and expressions, ethnicities, abilities and neurodivergences, non and religious beliefs and philosophies, politics, body sizes, shapes, and modifications are welcome, heard, given voice, and made space for. Monogamous partners of Non-Monogamous persons are more than welcome.
"Cowboying" is not welcome and will result in a ban. All on the Asexual Spectrum and Beyond are welcome. Cruising for that night's "hook-up" or "play" is not welcome and will result in a ban.
Rules:
- Respect individual journeys and do not gatekeep.
- No cowboying and no Cruising.
- Consent Is Everything Always and must be sought before action is taken. (Example: YES - "May I give you a hug?" NO - "I'm a hugger, bring it in!"
Consent is defined by the F.R.I.E.S. acronym:
- Freely Given
- Reversible
- Informed
- Enthusiastic
- Specific
Find us on Facebook and Fetlife
Upcoming events
4

Support and Discussion Group
Private Clubhouse, 2250 scarborough drive, lodi, CA, USFebruary Topic of the Month: Jealousy
Hosted at a Private Clubhouse within an ungated Condo-complex. Clubhouse is located on one-side of the pool. It is encouraged to park on Scarborough drive and walk in towards the pool. Remember the Clubhouse is on one side, so if it's not seen, walk around the pool (or send a message or ping and we'll send out a search party to help!)
A small-group, round-robin style discussion and support group event. Topics will be introduced by the Host, Sarah, one at a time until everyone has a chance to share or pass to the next attendee. A printed guide with the topic and connected questions will be passed in case (like me!) you could use the reminder of what we're talking about.
Doors open 4pm ( Event begins promptly at 4:15 with self-introductions and welcomes. Late-attendees are welcome and will be happily added in wherever we are in the discussion. Event concludes at 7:30 with an optional mingle and further discussion period to 8pm.
Hosting, advertising, planning, executing, engaging the community, and all of this takes time and oftentimes resources on my end. If you can, help me keep doing what I do here: https://gofund.me/fba286dc1 attendee
Poly/CNM Gaming
Dragon's Den Games, 2233 Grand Canal Blvd, Stockton, CA, USSmall game store, usually just us, hard to miss us but if you need an easy and safe "in" look for the Purple Stuffed Unicorn and ask for me, Sarah, or the "Gaming Event."
Game pitches begin sharply at 1:15pm. Attendees choose their game, their people to play with, and table. Most times, we begin with an all-attendee included party/discussion game. Sometimes, players break into separate games (including, an option of a MTG Commander table so bring those decks!)
Late-comers will be given the option of being included in an ongoing game (often easy to do), beginning a different game, or observing and laughing along with a played game. I bring lots of different games, all usually easy to learn and play! Bringing your own to add to the mix if you own them is highly encouraged. Great event for newbies to gaming of any type, as well as newbies to CNM.
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Hosting, advertising, planning, executing, engaging the community, and all of this takes time and oftentimes resources on my end though. If you can, help me keep doing what I do here: https://gofund.me/fba286dc1 attendee
Social Mingle
Round Table Pizza, 2819 West March Lane, 95219, CA, USShow up @5:30 to help set up and order food (sharing is caring!), formal event begins @6pm but show up anytime!)
What to Expect:
- Set in a Private Room (with a see through glass wall).
- No structure to the event. Just come, hang out, chat, or just sit back and observe. Feeling shy or need to fill the empty silence? I'll have Ice Breaker questions on the table.
- No purchase necessary or admittance fee! Feeling generous? Buy everyone a pizza (sharing is caring!)
- ALL are welcome : no discrimination, hate, or judgement permitted. We all do Non-Monogamy different, we all present ourselves differently, and that's ok! It's all beautiful!
- New? We all are! This community was jump started in October 2025 (though founded in 2016).
-New to Consensual Non-Monogamy? This is a great place to ask questions, learn, grow, and connect! There will be books and brochures to peruse.
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When does it start:
- We have the room reserved for 5:30 - 8:30. That includes set up and clean up.
- Come and go any time! Again, there is no structure!
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Who is this:
- This group is called "SJC Polyamory/CNM" listed on all the above hosted sites.
- We are a community of all ages, sizes, colors, abilities, professions, genders, sexualities and forms of Consensual Non-Monogamy.
- CNM includes, but is not limited to: Polyamory, Swinging, Relationship Anarchy, Closed & Open Triads/Quads/and more, Poly-Mono relationships and those who don't believe in labels but want relationships/parterships/situationships with more than one individual simultaneously.
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How much is this:
- Always free! No entry fee, no purchase necessary, no hat passed.
- If you have the means, there are a variety of food options from appetizers, a salad bar, pizzas, and beverages.
- Hosting, advertising, planning, executing, engaging the community, and all of this takes time and oftentimes resources on my end though. If you can help me keep doing what I do check out my annual costs gofundme here: : https://gofund.me/fba286dc (or contact me to make arrangements! Or just show up and drop something in my donation box or to my venmo)
- Host DMs are OPEN! (please do not DM other attendees without consent) or you can e-mail me at StocktonPoly@gmail.com
4 attendees
Past events
266

