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What happens when you constantly write really funny event descriptions and your members have come to expect it, but you're too goddamn tired to be funny and you just want to pound out a goddamn description without it being so brilliant and clever all the goddamn time?
... ?... ?
Don't have an answer, huh?
I guess just don't have it in me to not put forth an effort to at least get a chuckle...or maybe even a guffaw. Okay, screw the guffaw, I'm for sure too tired for that shit tonight! You'll just have to settle for a snicker... or harrumph even!
I don't care if that's the wrong word, I like the way it sounds so I'm gonna use it, just like Mel Brooks and Harvey Korman did in Blazing Saddles (I can see you looking it up in YouTube, just so you know). And I wouldn't worry about the stupid words I misuse, have you ready my syntax lately?!
I guess I'll just have to continue to be my brilliant alter-ego and write up another...
Wait, I just did. But there's more:
We're gonna do another crappy hike on another shitty day in paradise, then go eat, sound good? You bet your sweet butt cheeks it sounds good! Let's work off all those calories from StuffYourGut Day with a hike in Hill Canyon and then eat some more!
I know, doesn't make sense to me either.
This hike starts off easy, but then it slams you with a kick-to-the-ass climb to the top! It's really not that bad and besides, you'll need it my friends! Doggies are allowed as long as you pick up and pack out their poop, no exceptions. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION 💩
Okay, the deets:
Yes, yes, there's mileage! About 4, give or take 1 or 2. There's also elevation gain, somewhere in the 700 ft. range if I had'ta guess. However, I've been wrong before, so if you want exact stats, please ask the park ranger 👆 👇 👈 👉 😜
Then there's food after, like there should be on a Hike 'n Brunch. Grinders in Moorpark sounds good to me.
DIRECTIONS: Coming from T.O. in the Connayo-rhymes-with-mayo Valley, you take Moorpark Rd. heading north aaalllll the waaaaay to the end, and keep going from there, because that will take you into the Norwegian Wood... no, no, no, not W O O D, Norwegian GRADE... don't know why they call it that, but who gives a crap. Anyway, take the grade down into Santa Rosa Valley and keep going, going, going on the same road you started on until you reach Hill Canyon Rd. and the park entrance, about 3 miles in (keep an eye out for it 'cause it tends to creep up on you, sorta like loose underwear). Turn left into the park, drive over the first bridge and park on your right. There's a fee to park, I think about 4 bucks, so carpooling is good. There should be some free spots at the end of the road just before the second, wooden bridge.
Or, you can just click the purple map link above. Easy.
Pictures from previous bitchen hikes:
Harrumph, harrumph, harrumph!