Statistical Computing

Let's get together to play some competitive coed doubles volleyball. **COST**: FREE **Court Type**: Outdoor grass **Minimum Skill Requirements**: Solid BB (click [here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PojSi4qdlRsv1msCHhvpQ43iDc4FfzQwpWCc3kafVMY/mobilebasic) for details) Attention: 1. This event is **not always on a first come, first served basis**. [Good doubles partner](https://docs.google.com/document/d/14weEw-P52XKx0P8K2l-ZOFtYU61wmfdkSkopbG5avro/) and those who can bring a net and ball, may get priority over others on the waitlist. 2. Since skill levels are **self-reported**, some attendees may not meet the expected level in reality, so we encourage you to choose a partner you can enjoy the game with, and since this is a competitive event, it is okay if you make a strong team and win all the games. 3. Each person must help set up and take down one net, leaving some nets unset for latecomers. **Smiley Social documents:** 1. [Group Rules](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HrG35p_0M08leRvCp8XWG3CMkr_GL928XFabl5T6Dvg) 2. [Smiley Social Volleyball Levels](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PojSi4qdlRsv1msCHhvpQ43iDc4FfzQwpWCc3kafVMY/edit) 3. [Good doubles partner](https://docs.google.com/document/d/14weEw-P52XKx0P8K2l-ZOFtYU61wmfdkSkopbG5avro/) 4. [Liability Waiver](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W2mq-7m99lmvd7gdWYaSUFtvVg4UGnzV6koafAbHmco)⁷

🍻 What: ProductTank Happy Hour -- Join your fellow DC product people for a casual opportunity to connect and learn more about all things product from our ProductTank members. Whether you are a seasoned veteran or interested in diving into product management, all are welcome! 🏢 Where: The Admiral in Dupont (1 block from Dupont Metro) -- Guests will be asked to open their own tab. There is no minimum required. 🕒 When: 3/31/26 6:00-8:00 PM 👋We hope to see you there!

We are looking for volunteers to help support our community art workshops. Please sign up!

**\* This is an in-person event** Most people only experience finished products. Very few get the opportunity to work on something before it's finished when it can still be shaped. This is one of those opportunities. Karen Hold, Director of DT:DC, is currently developing a new innovation skills workbook with Jeanne Liedtka, based on over a decade of teaching and working with leaders across organizations, universities, and the DT:DC community. Her work focuses on the five statistically validated skills that help people develop as innovation leaders. This workbook builds on her work in design thinking and innovation education, including programs at the University of Virginia Darden School of Business, École des Ponts Business School (Paris and Casablanca), and Boston College. For this session, Karen will share a draft chapter of her new workbook for live testing. This is not a polished workshop. It's a working lab. You won't just participate. You will help shape the material itself. What We’ll Be Testing: * Whether the exercises actually help people think differently * Where the material is clear and where it breaks * What feels useful vs. what needs to be reworked This is the kind of work that typically happens behind closed doors. **What You'll Do** Working in small groups, you will: * Work through exercises from a draft chapter of the workbook * Apply them to real situations and ideas * Share feedback on what is clear, confusing, or missing * Help identify how the material can be improved You’ll get: * Early access to work that is still being developed * A chance to influence how this material evolves * Practical tools you can immediately apply * A behind-the-scenes look at how skill-building experiences are designed This is a rare opportunity to be part of the process, not just the outcome. Join us if you want to be part of something early, unfinished and actively evolving. No prior experience is required. **About Karen Hold** Karen Hold is the founder of Experience Labs and Director of DT:DC, one of the world's largest innovation communities connecting founders, designers, policymakers, and changemakers. Her work sits at the intersection of teaching and real-world application. She works with Fortune 500 corporations, federal government agencies and non-profit organizations, helping teams strengthen how they think, make decisions, and move ideas forward. She teaches in graduate and executive education programs, including at the University of Virginia Darden School of Business, École des Ponts Business School (Paris and Casablanca), and Boston College. Karen is a co-author of *Experiencing Design – The Innovator’s Journey*, and her work focuses on developing the skills that enable individuals and organizations to navigate complexity and create meaningful change.

Pitch your idea, get feedback, give feedback, meet with a mentor and most importantly, take action. Come to the meetup with a specific issue you are stuck with. **10:30 am Introductions:** 2-minute pitches tell us who you are? What you're working on? and what you need help with? **11:00 am Problem Solving:** Let's figure out how we can help, and what action you can take today to move forward. **12:00 pm** Open Networking: Keep the discussion going and connect with other attendees. Bring yourself, notebooks, laptops and anything else you need to pitch your idea and get work done. Interested in joining the Studio? [APPLY NOW](https://unstucklabs.com)

Join us for trivia at Lost Dog Cafe in McLean, Virginia located at 1690 Anderson Rd every Tuesday evening. Trivia begins at 7pm, but please consider joining earlier, around 6:45pm, since seating’s first-come-first-served. The nearest metro is McLean. Questions? Text 202-925-0001.

**This talk has completely sold out in advance and no door tickets will be available.** [Profs and Pints DC](https://www.profsandpints.com/washingtondc) presents: **“Understanding U.S.-Iran Relations,”** on the origins and future of a longstanding conflict, with Vali Nasr, professor of international affairs and Middle East Studies at the Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies, co-director of the SAIS Rethinking Iran Initiative, and author of several books on Iran and the Middle East. [Advance tickets: $13.50 plus sales tax and processing fees. Available at [https://events.ticketleap.com/tickets/profsandpints/dc-understanding-us-iran](https://events.ticketleap.com/tickets/profsandpints/dc-understanding-us-iran) .] Iran has represented a foreign-policy challenge for the United States for nearly 50 years, with relations between the U.S. and that nation growing more tense and sporadically violent during the first year of President Trump’s second term. Gain an understanding of what has driven the conflict, as well as what the future holds for Iran and its rivalry with the United States, with Professor Vali Nar, a leading expert who has advised senior American policymakers and world leaders on the region and whose many books on it include *Democracy in Iran: History and the Quest for Liberty, Islamic Leviathan: Islam and the Making of State Power*, and the co-authored *How Sanctions Work: Iran and the Impact of Economic Warfare.* He’ll start by taking us back to Iran’s 1979 Islamic revolution, which transformed Iran into a theocracy ruled by ayatollahs who cast the United States as the Great Satan, an enemy to be defeated at all costs. Our nation’s leaders often have blamed religious ideology for Iran’s hostility toward the United States and Iran’s willingness to devote so much energy to confronting a nation halfway around the world. Dr. Nasr will show, however, that such an explanation is inadequate, and he’ll explain how Iran’s anti-Americanism also is rooted in its history, insecurities, anxieties, and ambitions. Professor Nasr will discuss how this anti-Americanism and our desire to contain Iran have shaped U.S.-Iran relations over four decades. You’ll learn how it has led to confrontations in Lebanon and Iraq, as well as to two decades of back and forth over Iran’s nuclear program. It also has skewed Iran’s own domestic policies, deeply impacted the histories of other nations in the region, and brought about war. We’ll consider what more to expect from this rivalry and what Iran’s future holds. (Doors: $17, or $15 with a student ID. Listed time is for doors. Talk starts 30 minutes later.) Image: Photo by Mohammadhossein Movahedinejad (Tasmin News Agency / Creative Commons).

Title: Beyond Cryptography: Geometric Symmetry & Parity Stability Summary: Decoding Chaos: Using Quantum-Inspired Symmetry Metrics to Detect Stealth Attacks in High-Stakes Infrastructure. Agenda: Why symmetry matters after the proof is done. Symmetry as an Invariant Symmetry as a Security Primitive Trust as a Continuous Function Live Thought Experiment Engineering, Implications & Open Questions Move away from traditional bit-matching and discuss "Symmetry Drift." Explain how system states can be modeled as high-dimensional manifolds where an attack represents a geometric deformation.T(t)=f(symmetry stability,parity consistency,temporal coherence) Speaker: Vijay Krishna Vijay is a security engineer focused on runtime observability and symmetry drift in cryptographic systems. He is the founder of Vyapti Resonance and the creator of the Quantum Security Probe (QSP), a telemetry-driven integrity monitoring framework for post-quantum infrastructures. His work bridges theory, engineering, and long-lived system behavior, emphasizing measurable trust over binary verification. Vijay has 9 accredited licenses in Quantum Computing. Career Snapshot: Microsoft → DuPont → Rockefeller Capital Management → Morgan Stanley → New York Life → Founder, Vyapti Resonance Across this trajectory, Vijay has operated at the core infrastructure layer of organizations—cloud platforms, identity systems, distributed compute, reliability engineering, and governance frameworks. His work has consistently involved systems that cannot fail, particularly in regulated financial and insurance environments. This enterprise grounding strongly informs his academic and research outlook: quantum and AI systems must be operable, governable, auditable, and teachable, not merely theoretically elegant.

No Fooling. Agricultural Research Center Toastmasters is holding a meeting on April 1, 2026 at 5:00-6:30 pm. Come join us as we get a little silly. \-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\-\- ARE YOU READY FOR A LIFE-CHANGING, CAREER-ENHANCING EXPERIENCE? The Agricultural Research Center Toastmasters in Beltsville, Maryland meets on the first and third Wednesday of each month to practice our communication and leadership skills. We follow the educational program of Toastmasters International. We have great success individually and as a group. Our members are from different cultures and backgrounds. Several of us are scientists for the US Department of Agriculture. Others work at the Patuxent Wildlife Research Center. Our members also are tax preparers, translators, and teachers. Each year in the spring we hold a beginners class. The next class will be in March 2026. Visit our webpage at http://arc.toastmastersclubs.org/ .

We are the Federal Center Toastmasters Club. We meet the 1st, 3rd, and 5th Thursday of each month in Hyattsville, MD, from 12 noon to 1pm. Our meetings are held at the headquarters of the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics of the CDC. Our meetings are open to the public, though visitors must go through building security procedures. For visitors who are not U.S. citizens, we do need to pre-coordinate a first visit with our security team. Contact us at: 1260@toastmastersclubs.org. We have been a Toastmasters Club for 40 years and always welcome new members! Join us, and you will improve your public-speaking and leadership skills in a friendly, supportive atmosphere!

We connect you with up to 30 Men or Women tennis partners close to your PLAYING REGION and skill level. This program is less competitive, no champions crowned, no league standings just dedicated tennis partners who want to meet up with you on the courts. Players will meet up to play a tennis match or just to hit around. Just go through the [Join Page](https://www.tennisdc.com/partner-program) to enter this program. [https://www.tennisdc.com/partner-program](https://www.tennisdc.com/partner-program)

**\*GET TICKETS AT - [https://www.socialevents123.com/event-details.aspx?id=13304#tix](https://www.socialevents123.com/event-details.aspx?id=13304#tix)** (Multiple Meetup groups are co-organizing so the RSVP's shown are just a very small portion attending. .) Do you like word games and enjoy playing with others? Then this is your opportunity to have some fun online playing word games our Live Word Game Night Party. These will include Word Twist, Categories, Rebus and more. We will email you everything you need to play! You will also get to socialize and make other friends all from the safety and comfort of your home! Plus, winners receive Amazon Gift Cards, free events, and more! **\*GET TICKETS AT - [https://www.socialevents123.com/event-details.aspx?id=13304#tix](https://www.socialevents123.com/event-details.aspx?id=13304#tix)** \*After you purchase ticket, you will get the zoom link ON DAY OF THE EVENT. $15- $20 depending on how early you register for ticket. HOW IT WORKS: This completely online event will be LIVE and you will be able to see and hear the other participants while playing. In addition you get to meet and interact with other participants. You can attend via a computer/ webcam or smartphone/iPad/tablet. At game time, your host will show you a word search board. Your goal is to come up with as many words as you can within the specified time frame. We will have multiple rounds of play and have a system to also virtually introduce you to other participants. The people who made the most words, will get a raffle ticket for a chance to win a prize at the end of the event. You also can earn raffle tickets for audience participation and finding certain bonus words. Winners receive Amazon Gift Cards, free events, and more! We will also play several other games including Word Twist, Categories, Rebus and more. **RSVPS on here are NOT reflective of actual attendance as this is a mlulti group event. \*GET TICKETS AT - [https://www.socialevents123.com/event-details.aspx?id=13304#tix](https://www.socialevents123.com/event-details.aspx?id=13304#tix)** **For more fun events:** **Follow: [https://www.eventbrite.com/o/new-york-city-social-events-10797526283](https://www.eventbrite.com/o/new-york-city-social-events-10797526283)** **Click: [https://dljparty.ticketleap.com/](https://dljparty.ticketleap.com/)**

Join us after the walk for dinner at Royal Durbar Kitchen, a cozy Nepalese spot known for its rich flavors and warm atmosphere. Come hungry and ready to unwind with great food and even better company.

The Humanist Monthly Program is our longest running event and still a community favorite. In the old days it used to be called "Going to HCCO" and we still like to think of it as our flagship event. We will be hearing from Becca Powell, Director of Advocacy and Outreach at Unchained At Last, an organization whose mission is dedication to ending forced and child marriage in the United States through direct services and systems change. Unchained At Last's mission clearly meshes and addresses several of our Humanist Ten Commitments. Becca will educate us about an issue many of us may not be familiar with--but should be. Food and drinks will be provided at the event. Feel free to show up a little bit early to hang out and talk. Going forward our meetings will be hybrid. You can meet us in-person or attend online Join Zoom Meeting [https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87836564953?pwd=4Mi57ElZkDIFlb1fnlNwOJ0NiOK4tP.1](https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87836564953?pwd=4Mi57ElZkDIFlb1fnlNwOJ0NiOK4tP.1) Meeting ID: 878 3656 4953 Passcode: 760812 One tap mobile +19292056099,,87836564953#,,,,\*760812# US (New York) +13017158592,,87836564953#,,,,\*760812# US (Washington DC) The formal presentation will start at noon

The Fellowship of the Star Schema: Transforming OLTP Data for Power BI One does not simply build reports on OLTP data. Join us on an epic journey from the depths of raw, normalized tables to the shining halls of a well-modeled star schema fit for Power BI greatness. We will demystify the differences between OLTP and OLAP, walk through star schema vs snowflake (and why Power BI has a clear favorite), and show you the compression differences between normalized and columnar storage that will make you never look at an OLTP model the same way again. We will cover the different types of dimensions, when to use them, and how to handle Slowly Changing Dimensions without losing your mind. You will leave knowing exactly how to identify a bad model, how to convert OLTP data into a clean star schema, and how to forge relationships that rule them all. Whether you are a data wizard, a curious hobbit, or somewhere in between, your models will never be the same.

**The Data-Driven Brand: Using Analytics to Shape Perception** Can you use analytics to improve tacos? This being CBUSDAW, we think the answer is probably “yes”, but we’re not sure how to implement or test this theory. For our April meetup we’ve got Sara Kear, CMO of Condado Tacos, to investigate this delicious question. Sara will explore how she blends quantitative data and qualitative customer feedback to shape brand positioning and drive business decisions. We all know that marketing and analytics go way beyond attribution. Sara will show how Condado uses customer insights to inform product and pricing strategy. She’ll also highlight how Condado leverages customer feedback at scale to influence operational priorities, positioning marketing as the voice of the customer across the organization. In the last 12 years Condado has gone from one location in Columbus to 52 locations across 10 states, so we’re guessing there’s more to that growth than really good guac (though the guac probably helps). Ultimately, this talk focuses on the intersection of art and science—using data to inform creativity and build a brand that resonates with customers in a measurable way. **About Our Speaker** Sara Kear is Chief Marketing Officer at Condado Tacos, where she oversees brand, restaurant design, menu and pricing strategy, off-premise including catering, and customer data strategy. Since joining in 2021, she has helped grow the brand from 19 to 52 locations while building a data-driven marketing organization focused on loyalty and customer insights. Condado has since been named to the Inc. 5000, recognized as Breakout Retailer by Chain Store Age, and consistently ranked among FastCasual’s Top 100 Movers & Shakers. Thanks to our 2026 sponsors: [Clarivoy](https://www.clarivoy.com), [What Box Consulting Group](https://www.whatboxconsultinggroup.com), [Conductrics](https://www.conductrics.com), and [Piwik PRO](https://piwik.pro) More info at [cbusdaw.com](https://cbusdaw.com)

(Note: RSVPing here on Meetup does NOT reserve your seat. To do that, you'll need to register at our website, **[HERE](https://www.coreerocks.com/Events.aspx?ID=IN-PERSON-in-Columbus-Creative-Deal-Autopsies-Wholesaling-101-14-4-7-2026)**.) The market changed—and most investors are still operating like it didn't. Deals that used to work don't. Buyers want different things. And a lot of what's being taught right now is outdated or just wrong. And, since 2011, it's been our job to make sure that our members are armed with the most up-to-date, real-world strategies for building wealth in Central Ohio real estate… …so our mission with this meeting (and every meeting) is to give you the no-hype, warts-and-all info you need to succeed. First, Wholesaling 101—a clear, real-world look at how wholesaling actually works today, what to pay, and how to stay out of trouble. Then, Creative Deal Autopsies—real investors breaking down real deals with real numbers, real conversations, and real outcomes. You'll also get the chance to put the presenters in the hot seat and ask any and every question you have about how they did their deals. You'll learn: 1. What wholesaling actually is 2. How to calculate real offers 3. Where deals are coming from now 4. What buyers want 5. How creative deals are structured 6. What contracts and terms are used 7. What can go wrong—and how to avoid it **Agenda:** 5:00–6:00: Free Light Dinner and Networking 6:00: Earlybird Meeting – Wholesaling 101 7:00: Buy-Sell-Trade (members only) 7:30: Creative Deal Autopsies Members: Free First-time guests: Free Non-members: $35 (or join for $30 instead) Remember, to actually reserve your seat, you have to go **[HERE](https://www.coreerocks.com/Events.aspx?ID=IN-PERSON-in-Columbus-Creative-Deal-Autopsies-Wholesaling-101-14-4-7-2026)** and register on our website!

**Latest Dojo Location!** **Knotty Pine Brewing** 1765 W 3rd Ave, Columbus, OH 43212 We're going to try a new dojo location for a few weeks and see how it works Dojos are informal Python group study sessions where everyone interested in Python gathers to learn about Python, help others with Python, or just hang out. Everyone is welcome from Python beginners to experts. Bringing a laptop is encouraged (we'll have extension cords and power strips). If there's something you want to learn leave a comment on this invite so we can plan ahead. We're looking for speakers for our Monthly Meetups! Fill out the form if you are interested in presenting to the Python Community. https://forms.gle/ehSfUAC2WgR34Crq9

Christians in Tech is a community at the intersection of faith and technology. Our meetups are designed to spark meaningful conversations, promote knowledge sharing, and encourage growth—both in your career and your spiritual walk with God. Whether you're an experienced professional or just starting your tech journey, CIT welcomes you. Our Website [https://linktr.ee/citcbus](https://linktr.ee/citcbus) Sponsors and Partners * Improving (Venue Sponsor) * Bethel World Prayer Center (Fiscal Sponsor) * Fruits & Roots (Coffee Partner)

**We'll have two meetings covering AI - this second one is for Positron** We will review which AI features are linked in for Positron, and how to use them. **Location:** The meetup will be at SPARK's ([https://annarborusa.org/](https://annarborusa.org/)) Ann Arbor site: [SPARK HQ (Ann Arbor)](https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.google.com/maps/place/Ann*Arbor*SPARK*Headquarters/@42.2792515,-83.7447708,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x883cae3effe193cb:0x5296a53db2a282bf!8m2!3d42.2792515!4d-83.7447708?hl=en-US__;Kysr!!HXCxUKc!3EEdBNXRJKknP6LCGkZetSuEsdtChFojQnOVitFUC5C0fyilqXEbiMstT9ajBR3Cw-55qoFkrElCjQvjMdTxUw$). There is on street parking, and parking at local structures. **This will be a hybrid meeting - the Zoom session starts at 6:30 PM.** **Time:** The doors will be open at 6:00, with pizza and beverages provided. We will have a meet-and-greet-and-pizza session, and then at 6:30 we'll have a presentation. **Zoom information:** https://us06web.zoom.us/j/86862937929?pwd=woa95D1r85dobjqxQ07NfBLNdTa9hc.1 Passcode: 705462 **If you can't get in, please call me at: 734 223-3307** **Document source:**