YES MAN – How “Yes” Can Change Your Life - The Schema Therapy Approach

When we suffer, we instinctively close.
The human mind, trying to protect itself, says “no”, not just with words, but with emotions, with posture, with withdrawal, with silence.
That “no” becomes a shield. It keeps danger at bay, but it also keeps life at bay.
This workshop is not about one specific disorder.
It’s about the universal process that underlies many forms of emotional pain: anxiety, loneliness, perfectionism, self-criticism, trauma, or depression.
It is the process of defensive closure: the way the mind says “no” to protect us, and in doing so, builds a bubble around our pain.
Inside that bubble, nothing new can enter.
The problem keeps repeating itself, not because we are broken, but because the system never has a chance to evolve.
In this transformative experience, Dr Alessandro Carmelita, founder of Mindful Interbeing Mirror Therapy and international trainer in Schema Therapy, will help you understand how this mechanism of “protective no” develops, and how to gently turn it into a “yes” that reopens life.
When we experience emotional wounds early in life, neglect, rejection, unpredictability, or lack of safety, we internalise schemas: deep emotional patterns that tell us the world is unsafe, love is conditional, or our needs don’t matter.
To survive, we create coping modes that protect us from being hurt again:

• The Detached Protector closes feelings and says “no” through numbness.
• The Compliant Surrenderer says “no” to personal needs by always saying “yes” to others.
• The Overcontroller says “no” to uncertainty by controlling every detail of life.

Each of these parts forms a protective bubble that feels safe but keeps us emotionally isolated.
The more we protect ourselves, the smaller the world becomes.
Our energy no longer moves outward toward life; it circulates inside the bubble, feeding the same thoughts, fears, and sensations again and again.
In Schema Therapy terms, this maintains the schema; it keeps the pain active.
What was meant to protect becomes the very mechanism that sustains suffering.
From a neuroscientific point of view, this closure keeps the brain’s amygdala and defence circuits constantly active, sending signals of danger even when no threat is present.
When we begin to say “yes” consciously and safely, we activate dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, the chemistry of openness, connection, and trust.
“Yes” is not simply an attitude; it’s a neurobiological act of healing.
It tells the nervous system: I am safe enough to expand again.
Through real clinical stories, Dr Carmelita will illustrate how people trapped for years in emotional suffering began to change not by fighting their symptoms, but by breaking the bubble of their protective “no.”
One small “yes”, a new conversation, a new feeling allowed, a moment of self-trust, began to move the whole system toward life again.
You will also experience guided exercises from Mindful Interbeing Mirror Therapy, a method that helps you meet the part of you that is afraid of openness and teach it safety through compassion and presence.
You will practice:

• The Mirror Dialogue, to reconnect with your real self.
• The No Journal, to notice where fear closes your life.
• The Daily Micro-Yes Practice, small acts of courage that gently expand your emotional system and reawaken flow.

This event is not about pushing yourself or forcing positivity.
It’s about learning that your closure was once necessary, but it no longer serves you.
Saying “yes” doesn’t mean ignoring pain; it means allowing movement again and letting the natural process of healing unfold.
Pain transforms when it can flow.
Love returns when defence relaxes.
Life heals when we stop saying no to it.

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### A Journey That Continues: The 3-Module YES MAN Training

This introductory event opens the path to a three-module training designed to transform this deep inner process step by step:

1. Module 1 – The Awareness of No
   Recognize how closure manifests in your thoughts, emotions, and body.
   Understand the protective logic behind your no’s and learn to see them without judgment.
2. Module 2 – The Power of Yes
   Through neuroscience-based exercises, imagery, and mirror work, you’ll experience how saying yes reorganizes your emotional brain and restores vitality.
3. Module 3 – Living the Yes Life
   Integrate this new posture in relationships, work, and daily life, learning to remain open even in the presence of discomfort or uncertainty.

Each module combines insight, experience, and practice, not to treat a single diagnosis, but to transform the process that sustains many forms of suffering.

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Saying "Yes" is not a concept.
It is a shift of energy, a return to life, and the beginning of healing.
Because when you stop fighting life and start saying yes,
life begins to move through you again.