Understanding and Reducing Anger: A New Way to Be Heard

Anger is not the real problem. The real problem is what lies underneath. Most people are not angry because they want to be. They are angry because they have emotional needs that were never fully understood, never fully met and never fully expressed in a safe way.
In this webinar we explore anger through the lens of Schema Therapy and discover why anger explodes, why it shuts people down and why it creates distance instead of understanding. We will identify the schemas that intensify anger, such as emotional deprivation, mistrust, subjugation and defectiveness, and we will uncover the coping styles that transform fear, pain and loneliness into reactivity.
The goal of this session is not to suppress anger. The goal is to understand it, regulate it, and transform it into a clear, assertive voice that others can finally hear. Through practical exercises, grounding techniques, and mirror-based reflections, you will learn how to calm the emotional storm, reconnect with your needs, and communicate in a way that creates closeness rather than conflict.
This webinar helps you develop that gentle yet powerful voice within you. And remember, you can watch all video recordings for free by registering at www.closebyyou.com.

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# Programme

### 1. What anger really is

• Anger as a secondary emotion
• The emotional system behind explosive reactions
• Why anger is often a request for connection
• How the nervous system enters fight mode

### 2. The Schema Therapy view of anger

• Emotional Deprivation schema and unmet needs
• Mistrust and Abuse schema and defensive anger
• Subjugation schema and the rage of feeling unheard
• Defectiveness and Shame schema and self-directed anger

### 3. Coping styles that distort anger

• Overcompensation, when anger becomes control or aggression
• Avoidance, when anger turns into cold distance
• Surrender, when you explode and then collapse into guilt
• How these strategies block healthy communication

### 4. The moment anger takes over

• Understanding emotional flooding
• Physical signs that the emotional brain is in charge
• Why logical thinking shuts down
• How to recognise your personal early warning signals

### 5. Learning to regulate anger

• Grounding techniques to calm the body
• Breathing practices that reduce reactivity
• How to pause without suppressing what you feel
• Creating emotional space before speaking

### 6. Meeting the vulnerable self behind anger

• Using imagery to connect with the hidden pain
• Mirror based work inspired by Mindful Interbeing Mirror Therapy
• How to meet your inner child who feels unheard or unsafe
• Transforming anger into clarity, not silence

### 7. Communicating to be heard

• How to express needs without attacking
• What assertiveness really means
• How to break the cycle of escalation
• How to create closeness during difficult conversations

### 8. Final experiential exercise and Q and A

• A guided grounding and reflection session
• Unrecorded Zoom space for questions and personal sharing