Understand Our Children’s Needs, A Clear Guide for Struggling Parents

Parenting is one of the most meaningful roles in life, yet it is also one of the most overwhelming. Many parents feel lost, exhausted or unsure, even when they love their children deeply. The problem is not a lack of love. It is that children communicate their needs through emotions and behaviours that are often difficult to understand.
This webinar is a clear and compassionate guide for parents who are struggling. Through the lens of Schema Therapy and attachment, we explore what children truly need to feel safe, confident and connected. We decode behaviours that seem irrational, stubborn or aggressive and reveal the emotional signals hidden behind them.
You will learn how to respond to your child in a way that calms the nervous system, strengthens the connection and reduces conflict. We also explore how your own emotional patterns, stress and childhood experiences shape the way you parent today. With grounded tools, practical examples and gentle mirror-based reflections, this session gives parents clarity, confidence and a renewed sense of direction.
And remember, all video recordings can be watched for free by registering at www.closebyyou.com.

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# Programme

### 1. Understanding what children really need

• The core emotional needs of every child
• How needs change with age
• Why children express needs through behaviours, not words
• The difference between misbehaviour and emotional overwhelm

### 2. Schema Therapy and children’s emotional world

• Abandonment and fear of separation
• Emotional Deprivation and feeling unseen
• Defectiveness and early shame
• Subjugation and the “too good” child
• Approval Seeking and the pressure to please others

### 3. How parents’ schemas shape parenting

• When your child activates your own vulnerabilities
• Overreacting, shutting down or becoming too controlling
• Why guilt makes everything harder
• How to calm your emotional brain before responding

### 4. Reading the hidden message behind behaviours

• What anger really means in children
• Understanding avoidance, silence and withdrawal
• Anxiety, clinginess and fear
• Impulsivity and the need for co-regulation

### 5. Creating emotional safety

• How to soothe a child in distress
• The power of connection before correction
• Predictable routines as a form of stability
• Speaking to your child in a way that reduces fear

### 6. Repairing after conflict

• What to do when you lose patience
• Apologising without losing authority
• Helping your child express feelings they cannot name
• Rebuilding trust and emotional closeness

### 7. Supporting healthy development

• Building emotional regulation skills
• Encouraging autonomy without pressure
• Supporting confidence, identity and boundaries
• Modelling the Healthy Adult in daily life

### 8. Mirror-based practices for parents

• Seeing your child’s vulnerable self with compassion
• Understanding your own reactions through reflection
• Exercises inspired by Mindful Interbeing Mirror Therapy
• Building presence and emotional attunement

### 9. Final guided practice and Q&A

• A short grounding exercise for parents
• Unrecorded Zoom space for sharing and questions