Finding someone you’re attracted to is one thing. Determining whether that person could be a compatible lifelong partner is something much more complicated.
In this interactive workshop, Garrett Lang will walk us through the process he developed for finding and evaluating a potential lifelong partner. Rather than relying mainly on chemistry, first impressions, or the hope that major differences will eventually disappear, Garrett’s approach is designed to help people get to know each other deliberately before making a serious commitment.
We’ll explore why Garrett recommends beginning with friendship, allowing time to observe someone’s character, and discussing the subjects that often create major problems only after a relationship has become serious.
Garrett will explain how to:
• Identify the beliefs and priorities you would not compromise for anyone
• Ask a potential partner about their own non-negotiables
• Distinguish manageable differences from fundamental incompatibilities
• Evaluate intellectual, emotional, physical, philosophical, spiritual, and lifestyle compatibility
• Compare values and understand which ones matter most to each person
• Discuss major life-path questions involving children, family, career, finances, location, social life, and privacy
• Determine whether attraction and chemistry are supported by genuine friendship and compatibility
• Observe whether care, effort, respect, and commitment are reciprocal
Participants will also have an opportunity to begin creating their own partner-compatibility framework. We’ll consider which qualities are essential, which are preferences, where compromise is possible, and which differences should be treated as warning signs.
Some of the questions we’ll discuss include:
• Should a romantic relationship begin as a friendship?
• What should you learn about someone before becoming deeply committed?
• How much compatibility is necessary for a relationship to last?
• Which differences can strengthen a relationship, and which are likely to create lasting conflict?
• How should we balance chemistry with reason?
• What does it mean for two people to be compatible if they prioritize different kinds of connection?
• How can the FTI’s Six Intentions help us choose—and become—better partners?
There is no guaranteed formula for finding the right person. However, a thoughtful process can help us make one of life’s most consequential decisions with greater self-awareness, honesty, reason, and compassion.
Whether you are single, dating, considering a serious commitment, already partnered and polyamorous, or simply interested in understanding long-term relationships, you are welcome to participate.
Format:
Lecture and discussion
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