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From: Jane E.
Sent on: Saturday, July 7, 2012 8:20 PM

I've updated this Meetup. For more details, see the full listing:

When: Wednesday, July 11,[masked]:00 PM

Where: Moonstruck Diner
449 3rd Ave (31ST)
New York, NY 10016

This Meetup repeats on the 2nd Wednesday of every month.

If the changes affect your plans to attend, please take a moment to update your RSVP. (You can RSVP "No" or "Yes".)

You can always get in touch with me through my group profile on Meetup.


Event Summary

What:  Living with Atheism Support Group

sponsored by NYC Atheists Inc.


Topic:  Personality!


Leader: Dr. John Wagner is substituting

for therapist Linda Blaikie.


When:  Wednesday, July 11, 2012

at 7 p.m.


Where:  Moonstruck Diner

449 Third Ave. @ 31st St.

2nd Floor


Cost:    Free for NYC Atheists members.

(Can join at meeting)

Participants expected to purchase food

or drink to compensate Moonstruck.


Can You Make Yourself More Likeable?


What does it mean to have a “nice personality”?  According to our American Heritage  Dictionary, “personality” is: “the distinctive qualities of an individual; especially, those distinguishing personal characteristics that make one socially appealing.”

If your life experiences have made you charming, you should probably count yourself lucky. If life has brutalized you, are you out of luck, personality-wise? Doomed to be a grouch and an unlikable curmudgeon?

Are “Nice” People Wishy-Washy?

Or can we change and develop a likable personality? After all, being liked is an asset to our survival. People are helpful and beneficent to those they like. Being liked means you can influence people--and for an Atheist, that’s important.

But does a “nice personality” mean being a total jellyfish, acquiescent to everybody and everything?  Or does a “nice personality” mean something more intense and challenging?   One way to examine this is to look to the dictionary’s second definition of personality, which is:

  1. the dynamic character, self or psyche that constitutes and animates the individual person and makes his experience of life unique.”

Is that a more accurate and less judgmental description of personality? Do the words “dynamic,” “animates,” and “unique” imply that the total jellyfish type doesn’t cut the mustard when it comes to personality?

Be the Mensch You Want to Be

Come on Wednesday and help your fellow NYC Atheists analyze these ambiguities:  What constitutes a “nice personality?”  Are we responsible for whether other people like us?  Can we be ourselves, with all the coping skills we’ve learned in a competitive society, and still be likable?

Can we learn the skills it takes to be likable or are we stuck with what our parents and the world have imposed on us?

Join us in a relaxed and informal atmosphere, with our group leader, Dr. John Wagner, who is a professor at Weill Cornell Medical College, in analyzing how important it is to be liked, whether we can change ourselves to make people like us and what the emotional price of doing that could be.

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