Setting Better Boundaries

Last month we identified our top core values.

This month is all about protecting them!

Boundaries define what’s ok with us and what’s not ok. Not only do they protect our values, they also protect our energy, our time, our autonomy, and our sense of safety and security.

Having clear boundaries allows us to create trusting, healthy relationships with other people and with ourselves.

When we don’t have clear boundaries, we can end up feeling depleted...used...overwhelmed...lost...angry...resentful...and ungrounded - like a house knocked off its foundation.

But setting and keeping boundaries is easier said than done.

In my opinion, it's the hardest part about living in integrity, which means living true to who you are and consistently having your own back.

Why is it so hard?

Because setting boundaries often means having difficult conversations with the important people in your life. It can also mean having a difficult conversation with yourself (hello self-trust!).

Boundaries require you to do hard things, like say ‘no’...set limits…and risk disappointing people, hurting people, or rocking the boat with your family, friends, boss, work colleagues, or clients.

And that’s terrifying!

You know what's even more terrifying, though?

===> Living out the rest of your days in a soul-sucking situation that you know isn't right for you.

That’s why, in this meeting, we’re going to focus on Setting Better Boundaries!

We’ll start with some individual work by jotting down the answers to these questions:

• Who or what causes stress or discomfort in your life?

• What interactions do you have with other people on a regular or semi-regular basis that exhaust you?

• What takes your energy, rather than gives you energy? (think of people, activities, responsibilities, your own behaviors or habits, and areas where you want to take action or make a change but you’re not doing it.)

• What makes you feel “off-track”?

• What makes you feel safe, grounded, valued, and “on-track”?

Then we’ll get into the group work. We’ll examine how we can create stronger boundaries by discussing questions, like these, in small groups:

• Looking back at the answers you wrote down in the individual work, where do you most need better boundaries? With yourself? Or with other people? If it’s with other people, who?

• Where in your life is it hardest to set boundaries? What makes it hard?

• What’s hard about not setting boundaries in this area of your life? In other words, what stress or discomfort are you experiencing due to the lack of boundaries?

• As you look at both sides - i.e. setting boundaries or not setting boundaries - which one is more painful to live with? Why?

• What are one or two boundaries you could set that would create more ease and flow in your life? Are these non-negotiable for you, or would you like them to be flexible? If flexible, how flexible? What are the boundaries on your flexibility?

• Imagine you’ve set these boundaries and you’re consistent in honoring them. How would your life be different?

• What strengths or resources can you employ to help you set and maintain these boundaries? (e.g. strong communication skills…accountability partner…a coach or therapist…sticky notes on your mirror, etc.)

As always, come ready to get real..hold space..and discover some transformative insights with your fellow Bolder Women!

I can’t wait to see you there!

With Passion and Purpose,
Terra

Suggestions for What To Bring:

• Notebook and pen
• Water Bottle
• Business Cards
• Protein Bar or other snack if you think you might get hungry

A Note About Our Location:

We are gathering in the Porch Light Real Estate office, which is on the second floor of the Chase Bank building on Arapahoe, between Folsom and 28th St.

Use the door that has the ATM next to it. The door faces Nothing Bundt Cakes. Go to the second floor and follow the hallway around to suite 210.

If the main door to the bank is locked, we will either have someone there letting people in, or there will be a sign with a number you can call to notify us that you’re here.