River Tubing-Hiawassee

A Too Hot to Hike Summer Series event

Meeting time listed is AT THE TUBING PLACE. Want to Carpool? A Carpool will be at 9:30 at the Academy Sports + Outdoors parking lot, 2220 Hamilton Pl Blvd, Chattanooga

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he is not the same man." Heraclitus

The Greek PreSocratic philosopher Heraclitus stood at the edge of a river and came up with something profound about the constant changes of man and the world around him. Truly a deep thought that stands the test of time.

But we're not in Greece anymore Toto!

Many a Redneck Philosopher has come up with their own profound sayings.

Some of them probably standing on the banks of a river rapids and then reflectively saying "Hold my beer..." And a deep thoughtful saying was born that day.

I do know when I hit the water for this event I'll be Happy as a hog in mud.

We're in Tennessee and the deep South has no shortage of deep Philosophical prose.

There are some very profound thinkers in the South

Like the unacknowledged Authors of these gems:
She’s so contrary she floats up-stream.
So dry the catfish are carrying canteens
Don’t get your panties in a wad
He could start a fight in an empty house
He’s so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack
She’s got some snap in her garters
Give me the bacon without the sizzle

There are so many more. Obviously history will look back at the deep South as a Greek like renaissance of philosophical thinking.

Well, probably not.

I'm trying to be nice.

We're not actually going to cross the river so no one is asking you to change. Unless of course you want to get out of wet clothes. Then yes, change, but use the changing rooms they provide. Nobody wants to see you as Nekkid as a Jaybird. I guess the change in Heraclitus saying is of a different context for change. The River? We're going to tube down it on a tube not crossing it. Did the Greeks ever think of doing that? No of course not! Tubes are plastic and that wasn't invented until 1907.

I am willing to bet the Rednecks of the South invented it and I love them for that and I love doing it.

So reserve your Tube here.
Hiawassee Outfitter

Use these details
Choose August 17, 2025
Time 11:30 A.M
When you pay in the notes write: Chattanooga Outdoor Adventures Meetup group
When they ask for the group name Chattanooga Outdoor Adventures

Seriously folks you know how to do this.

Right?

Pack some snacks, hydration, water shoes, sunscreen. Whatever you feel you need to float down the river and enjoy the day. Probably going to stop once or twice along the way.

Then because I like the Social aspect of eating together. We eat because you'll be so hungry you could gnaw bark off a pine tree. Don't worry I found a place for us to eat with a meal that will stick to your ribs like good memories

It is the
Rocky Bottom Cafe

The owners must be from my home town because they have on their menu Grilled Italian Sausage with grilled onions and peppers. One of the Specials they ran also included Salt Potatoes. They have other stuff too. Burgers and dogs style fair.

Since the guy is from the North like me I will close with a phrase I heard from a friend this past weekend that I had not heard in years. He is from the same area in Central New York.

You want to do this because it is going to be a "Wicked Pissah"...

I just realized the Southern Redneck might be more articulate than I and my Yankee brethren. We can be every bit as philosophical. It just has a well, more colorful aspect.