FGS: Don't Tell - Stories about secrets

My mom was full of secrets. She was always running some low-level con to save money. I don’t know how many times she told me to act like I was 5 when I was 10 so we could get into the movies cheaper. Did you know I wrote a play when I was 16? Neither did I, but that's what she wrote on my college applications. I was furious when Pomona College wrote back asking to see it. I told them our house burned down.

I guess it shouldn't have surprised me when I found out 30 years after she died that she'd lied all her life about having a master's degree in speech and drama from NYU. She went to her grave telling people that.

I held a grudge against her for a lot of reasons, but one of them was watching her lie all the time. She wanted me to be a hustler like her but I wasn't built that way. I hated all the lies she told when I desperately wanted to have a parent I could look up to.
Earlier this year, I laid into a couple friends for some double standards they held. Normally, I would have ignored it but I got tired of their sanctimonious finger-pointing. I thought the argument would last a few minutes and then we'd move on to ordering dessert. But it didn't. It lasted through the night and into the next day. And the day after that and the day after that. It was terrible. Three egos banging away at each other when we should have been enjoying each other's company.

I couldn't figure out how to make things better between us until one of them mentioned a secret his own mother had kept. It was a terrible secret. The worst you can imagine. It made me wonder how safe I was all the years I spent at his house as a kid. That night I shared a secret I’d kept from him for decades.

When I was in Boy Scouts my mother signed off on a lot of merit badges I didn't earn. If I completed half the tasks for a particular badge, she'd sign the form and say good enough. If I said I could complete the last two tasks when summer came around she's sign off on the merit badge that day so I could get it at the next troop meeting.

It bothered me for decades that I caved in and let her sign me off on merit badges I didn't earn. But it was always easier to give in than to argue with her. One of the things my friend and I shared were those years in Boy Scouts. It was a big part of both our young lives, and I always felt guilty that he thought I earned so many of those merit badges.

So I told him. He didn't say much. He just nodded and kept doing what he was doing at the counter. Maybe he had suspected as much and this was just confirming what he'd thought. I didn't ask him how he felt about it. I guess I just wanted him to know that I know that I’m not the paragon of integrity I sound like when I’m laying into someone. And maybe I wanted him to know that even when I’m at my most sanctimonious, part of me knows that people could be calling me out on my stuff if only they knew what I was holding inside.

It's been months since that night in the kitchen when I told my buddy about the merit badges. We're back to texting each other jokes and memories. I don't know if we'd be doing that if I hadn't shared how imperfect I know myself to be. Some secrets are meant to be kept forever. And some are meant to be shared so you can get out from under them and right-size yourself.

And that's the kind of story we're looking for at our show at our January show. Did you discover a secret someone you loved was keeping? What did you do? Did it change how you felt about them? Did you keep a secret of your own for a long time before you realized you couldn't anymore? Maybe you got caught keeping a secret. How did that turn out? Did you apologize and make amends, or keep denying until you both just stopped talking about it? I think I've probably done every one of those things. We'd love to hear your own story about secrets.

Whatever story you tell, remember to practice it out loud on as many people as possible and time yourself when you’re doing it. Please don’t get onstage if you haven’t practiced your story. The audience is giving you their time and attention. It’s not fair to them if you get up there and try to wing it.

All stories have to be under 8 minutes. Stories can be as short as you want but not over 8 minutes. Stories also have to be clean in both language and content. Send me an email if you have any questions about that.

The rest of the rules and guidelines are below:
https://freshgroundstories.com/2013/01/22/storytelling-rules-and-guidelines/

We have a free monthly online workshop that’s a great place to get feedback on your story.
https://www.meetup.com/Fresh-Ground-Stories-Storytelling-Workshop/

I’m also happy to help anyone with a story they’re working on. Send me an email and we can set up a phone call.

See you on Thursday, January 16, at 7 pm, at the Chabad of Queen Anne - Magnolia. 1825 Queen Anne Ave N, Seattle, WA 98109 (Remember, no non-kosher food in the building)

Paul
Freshgroundstories at gmail dot com