What we’re about
Hey!
It may look like there are very few of us here – but most men sign up via www.MensGroups.co.uk. We always keep our breakout rooms small and personal.
MenSpeak Men’s Groups are a safe and confidential space to hang out, be heard, and get real.
We drop the ‘nice guy’, ‘macho man’, or whatever masks that we’ve been wearing so we can show up as our authentic selves, and explore who we really are. We learn from one another's experiences and grow from 'maskuline' into authentic masculine.
Sadly it’s become normal to turn to drink, drugs, sex, porn, money, power, abuse or victimhood as a way of coping. Instead, we acknowledge what we've been through and we accept who and how we've been, as we test-drive who we might want to be, taking the best of our ourselves out, into the world.
Many men live in fear and fantasy, second guessing and surviving life, rather than meeting life with embodied presence, purpose, passion and personal power. As authentic men we are able to adjust our sails to harness the winds of change, navigating life’s challenges, whilst staying true to ourselves.
MenSpeak men's groups are facilitated, not lead, meaning that our spaces are non-hierarchical and non-clinical. We meet the needs of the men present and follow wherever the conversation naturally takes us. There isn’t a right or wrong way of doing things.
Wherever you are on your path of self-discovery, men’s groups can provide a community to support you and help you to find peace, purpose and passion in life.
OUR GROUND RULES
Please check out our Ground Rules before attending a group - alternatively, you can watch them here.
(Feel free to use our Ground Rules, citing ©️ Kenny Mammarella-D’Cruz “The Man Whisperer”)
DISCLAIMER
We are not a therapy group, we are not a group against men or women, we are free and unaffiliated, welcoming to all backgrounds.
All activities are undertaken entirely at your own risk. No responsibility will be taken and no compensation discussed for loss or injury. By taking part, each participant accepts full responsibility for his own safety and wellbeing.
*If in doubt, please seek professional advice before participating.
Upcoming events
141
•OnlineMenCheck-In: Daily Men's Group for Connection and Community
OnlineDo you sometimes lack purpose, passion and sense of belonging?
Would you like to explore who you really are, beyond money, muscles and monkeying around- and trying to fill an emotional hole with egotistical exploits, rather than trying to be whole?
Many men sadly turn to self-abuse such as, drink, drugs and porn and unhealthy relationships as a way of coping. Johann Hari said, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection. Men's groups provide the social medicine men need."
**Attendee numbers here do not reflect attendance, as we use multiple sites - this is not a ghost town!**
In a nutshell a men’s group is men sitting together in their social community, workplace or online; talking and listening to one another*,* learning from each-other’s experiences.
It’s a place to explore who we are, who we no longer need to be, and how we can lead better, fuller lives. A place where we can grow in authenticity; a place without a pecking order, judgement, blame, or shame, where everybody knows your name.
What The Media Are Saying
"[MenSpeak Groups are… ] Press-ups for the mind and circuit training for the soul.” Tony Parsons from GQ Magazine
"He’s a gentle voice in the ears of the many men who come to him for help with life – he’s The Man Whisperer." Newsweek Magazine about MenSpeak Founder Kenny Marmmarella-D’Cruz
“[ Kenny Marmmarella-D’Cruz is the] .. Consultant, Coach and Guru of All Things Men,” Daily Express Magazine
Please check the meeting start-times and arrive 10 minutes before the start time, as meetings cannot be disrupted once started.
Please provide us with feedback after your group, so we can apply for funding to take our groups into less-resourced areas:
http://tinyurl.com/menspeakJoin Us Today!
Please read our Ground Rules and head over to our YouTube channel to explore what we do.
3 attendees
•OnlineFREE Suicide Prevention Training (for MenCheck-in facs / MenFacilitate grads)
OnlineOnline Suicide Awareness Training
Lead by Rhys Hughes founder of Breathe Creative and suicide prevention expert and trainer of many years.
In honour of our late, great friend Nick Clements.
This is a FREE introductory half day on-line course for active MenCheck-in facilitators and other invited MenFacilitate grads. Attendance Certificates will be provided. ([Click here for info on our accredited online facilitation training.](Click here for info on our accredited online facilitation training.))
(If you'd like to take part and you're not a MenCheck-in facilitator, please email kenny@themanwhisperer.co.uk - the Zoom link below won't work!)
Aims:
- To be able to recognise individuals that may be experiencing suicidal ideation.
- Understand the importance of asking a direct question “Are you thinking of taking your own life ?”
- Know how to respond if the answer is "Yes".
- Know how to stay safe when undertaking a suicide intervention.
Contract and Safety
- Avoid graphic language / descriptions.
- Use chat room to indicate time out / if you're triggered.
Assumptions
- Most people do not want their lives to end.
- Most people want to let others know how they are feeling.
- Suicide is preventable.
Activity 1:
- You are not responsible for the individuals ongoing psychological needs therefore who would you refer to?
- In plenary, link answers to safeguarding policy and procedure and / or NHS resources.
- Use of language.
- Avoid commit / fail / succeed.
Activity 2:
- Factors that contribute to suicidal thoughts and behaviour.
- Biological (gender / age / sexuality).
- Psychological (addictions, such as gambling, bipolar, depression, PD).
- Past history (survivors of abuse, bankruptcy, chronic illness, neurodiversity).
- Current events (cumulative loss, trauma).
Activity 3:
- Identify one phenomena for each of the four above that could be seen in an individual you work with (in breakout rooms).
- The process of suicide (slide).
- Factors leading to thoughts.
- Thoughts of suicide leads to planning.
- Leads to preparation.
- Act of suicide.
- Outcome life / death.
Self harm : the individual's intention is to live, but can results in accidental death.
Activity 4:
- Recognising signs: In groups, consider what signs might indicate that someone is at risk of suicide.
- Behaviours: tidying up, cleaning, putting affairs in order, making amends for past hurts or wrongs, giving away possessions, writing a will, obtaining the means, self harming behaviour, gambling, drinking, substance misuse, shopping, promiscuity, physical self-injury, over eating, under eating, wearing in appropriate clothes.
- Risk taking behaviours: Binge drinking, unsafe actions, picking fights, speeding, no apparent concern for the consequences.
- Thoughts: negative off-hand statements, negative thoughts, not planning ahead, "no one will miss me", "I hate my life", "I wish I would never wake up", "I can’t deal with this", "I know what I am going to do."
- Past history: Loss, divorce, redundancy, bankruptcy, eviction, arrested for offences, expelled from school, bullying or abuse, health deterioration, post-natal depression and other hormonal issues.
- Current presentation: Sense of worthlessness, hopelessness, what other feelings? Anger, sadness, rage, sorrow, elation, happiness, indifferent, lethargic, at peace unsettled anxious etc.
What do you do if they say yes, they want to end their lives:
The expectation is not that you can fix everything! What the person wants at this stage is to be heard, you need only to listen. If you have control over the environment, what element would you want in place before you ask the question?
How do you listen?
- Listening sequence and purpose.
- Hearing your thoughts changes them - you don’t need to find solutions.
Activity 5:
- Reflective circle: Statement to the person on your left: “How I am feeling this morning / afternoon?” reflect back adding nothing and leaving nothing out.
- Follow by paraphrase / summary.
- Non-verbal, para verbal encouragers.
- Body language, seating arrangements.
- Explore the reasons behind the thoughts (don’t tell them what to do, don’t make them feel guilty, time delay, feelings pass).
Reasons to live
- This is a non-directive approach in which you choose the time of your intervention and contrast this with an acute scenario where you are obliged to intervene when a person is in immediate danger, and you have to take a directive response.
- Feelings of relief, cared for, less anxious, valued, connected, hopeful. At this point suggest what would make them safe now?
- Lead onto a safety plan. Discuss aloneness, pain, plan, prior suicide behaviour, substance, misuse mental health.
Safety Plan
- Do not need to make a decision now.
- Pause button (20 minutes to change immediate urgency)
- Disable any immediate actions i.e remove car keys, weapons, medication etc.
- Physically change environment, move back from parapet / roadway etc.
- Who can we contact?
- Shall we have a coffee?
- Can I come to the GP with you?
- Referral to safeguarding and ongoing support.
Own safety
- Always consider own safety when conducting an intervention.
- Factors that increase risks, drugs, alcohol, acute mental illness, make people disinhibited and / or unpredictable.
- When these factors are present a directive approach is required and professional support should be summoned (999)
Activity 6:
- Following an intervention what might you need?
- What self-care activities do you currently practice?
Helping Hand
- “10 things to do” acute suicidal thoughts only lasts for 20 mins.
National Centre for Suicide Prevention Education and Training. CIC / https://suicidefirstaid.uk/
6 attendees- •Online
The Weekend Men's Group Check-In for Connection and Community
OnlineDo you sometimes lack purpose, passion and sense of belonging?
Would you like to explore who you really are, beyond money, muscles and monkeying around- and trying to fill an emotional hole with egotistical exploits, rather than trying to be whole?
Many men sadly turn to self-abuse such as, drink, drugs and porn and unhealthy relationships as a way of coping. Johann Hari said, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection. Men's groups provide the social medicine men need."
**Attendee numbers here do not reflect attendance, as we use multiple sites - this is not a ghost town!**
In a nutshell a men’s group is men sitting together in their social community, workplace or online; talking and listening to one another*,* learning from each-other’s experiences.
It’s a place to explore who we are, who we no longer need to be, and how we can lead better, fuller lives. A place where we can grow in authenticity; a place without a pecking order, judgement, blame, or shame, where everybody knows your name.
What The Media Are Saying
"[MenSpeak Groups are… ] Press-ups for the mind and circuit training for the soul.” Tony Parsons from GQ Magazine
"He’s a gentle voice in the ears of the many men who come to him for help with life – he’s The Man Whisperer." Newsweek Magazine about MenSpeak Founder Kenny Marmmarella-D’Cruz
“[ Kenny Marmmarella-D’Cruz is the] .. Consultant, Coach and Guru of All Things Men,” Daily Express Magazine
Please check the meeting start-times and arrive 10 minutes before the start time, as meetings cannot be disrupted once started.
Please provide us with feedback after your group, so we can apply for funding to take our groups into less-resourced areas:
http://tinyurl.com/menspeakJoin Us Today!
Please read our Ground Rules and head over to our YouTube channel to explore what we do.
1 attendee - •Online
The Weekend Men's Group Check-In for Connection and Community
OnlineDo you sometimes lack purpose, passion and sense of belonging?
Would you like to explore who you really are, beyond money, muscles and monkeying around- and trying to fill an emotional hole with egotistical exploits, rather than trying to be whole?
Many men sadly turn to self-abuse such as, drink, drugs and porn and unhealthy relationships as a way of coping. Johann Hari said, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection. Men's groups provide the social medicine men need."
**Attendee numbers here do not reflect attendance, as we use multiple sites - this is not a ghost town!**
In a nutshell a men’s group is men sitting together in their social community, workplace or online; talking and listening to one another*,* learning from each-other’s experiences.
It’s a place to explore who we are, who we no longer need to be, and how we can lead better, fuller lives. A place where we can grow in authenticity; a place without a pecking order, judgement, blame, or shame, where everybody knows your name.
What The Media Are Saying
"[MenSpeak Groups are… ] Press-ups for the mind and circuit training for the soul.” Tony Parsons from GQ Magazine
"He’s a gentle voice in the ears of the many men who come to him for help with life – he’s The Man Whisperer." Newsweek Magazine about MenSpeak Founder Kenny Marmmarella-D’Cruz
“[ Kenny Marmmarella-D’Cruz is the] .. Consultant, Coach and Guru of All Things Men,” Daily Express Magazine
Please check the meeting start-times and arrive 10 minutes before the start time, as meetings cannot be disrupted once started.
Please provide us with feedback after your group, so we can apply for funding to take our groups into less-resourced areas:
http://tinyurl.com/menspeakJoin Us Today!
Please read our Ground Rules and head over to our YouTube channel to explore what we do.
1 attendee
Past events
3365
