Past Meetup

Perf Like a Pirate III (Cloud Performance)

This Meetup is past

313 people went

Location image of event venue


Ahoy mateys! We're baaaaack! Yarrr, with Perrrf like a Pirate—the 3rd edition! Join us for a free community event with fun, expert talks about Cloud Performance.

Talk #1: Look Into Your App with Stackdriver

In this talk we'll look at an app and see how stackdriver can help you discover performance bottlenecks and tune requests to get the most out of your resources.

Speaker: Aja Hammerly

Aja (@the_thagomizer ( lives in Seattle where she is a Developer Advocate at Google and a member of the Seattle Ruby Brigade. Her favorite languages are Ruby and Prolog. She also loves working with large piles of data. In her free time she enjoys skiing, cooking, knitting, and long coding sessions on the beach.

Talk #2: Building a serverless fleet (and saving dabloons!)

A Pirate's place is out on the open sea, drifting and moving as the ocean takes them. But many pirates still are land-locked with technology that requires provisioning and loads and loads of costly instances. In this talk, Capt'n Colt will walk you through how to move your fleet into the serverless seas, saving you some dabloons and improving your performance as he does!

Speaker#2: Colt McAnlis

Colt (@duhroach ( is a Developer Advocate at Google focusing on Performance & Compression across mobile, cloud, and web.

Talk #3: Protect your Realtime Database from a Pirate Raid

The Firebase Realtime Database has lots of cool features that make it enjoyable for app development, but its easy to use API is not enough for it to be production ready. The feature that makes the database useful is actually its powerful security model. This talk will explain why the security rules engine is such a critical feature, and explore practical aspects of the security rules language.

Speaker#3: Jen Tong

Jen (@MimmingCodes ( is a Developer Advocate on Cloud at Google. In this role she helps developers build cool stuff on all sorts of platforms. Previously she worked in a wide variety of software roles from robotics at NASA, to developer advocacy for Google Glass.

She is passionate about education, especially on the subjects of technology and science. If she’s away from her laptop, she’s probably skating around a roller derby track, or hanging from aerial silk.

Talk #4: Firebase Performance Monitoring -- a spyglass fer yer perf!

"Profile yer code" they say... but know what ye get when ye profile yer code in yer high-class office with yer fancy wifi? Performance results fer an office with fancy wifi! What about yer customers tryin' your app out on the high seas? Or in faraway lands, like New Amsterdam? This is where Firebase Performance Monitoring can save yer scurvy hide.

Speaker #4: Todd Kerpelman

Todd (@ToddKerpelman ( is a Developer Advocate at Google, which means he primarily spends his time making YouTube videos and somehow convincing Google to pay him for it. As of last year, he's been spending most of his time talking about Firebase. Todd has two small children, so his hobbies primarily consist of falling asleep on the couch, attending Moana-themed birthday parties, and reminiscing about the days when he wasn't too tired to have actual hobbies.

Event details

This is a free Community event about Cloud Performance! We look forward seeing you all for a fun evening.


5:00 PM Doors open, eat and drink (food and drinks catered by Google; limited veg/GF options available; special cocktail by Alcademics; wine tasting by Grant Marie Winery, and live DJ music. Note: The event is on the 7th floor.

6:30-6:40 PM Announcements

6:40-7:10 PM Talk #1

7:10-7:40 PM Talk #2

7:40-8:10 PM Break

8:10-8:20 PM Lightning Talks (Contact the organizers if you would like to speak).

8:10-8:12 PM North Bay Python with Joshua Simmons

8:20-8:50 PM Talk #3

8:50-9:20 PM Talk #4

9:20-9:40 PM Q&A with all speakers

9:40 PM Raffle -- have a chance to win a Google Pixel phone and a Google Home (must be present to win)!


* There is bicycle parking in the garage below the building, but you must bring your own lock and leave your bicycle at your own risk.
* There is also street and garage parking. Check all signs for restrictions and fees.
* Smile! We are recording and photographing this event. If you do not wish to be included in SFHTML5 video or audio recordings or photographs, you can watch the recordings of all of our events at from the comfort of your home.

Cocktails by Alcademics

Wine Tasting by Grant and Marie Winery

Live DJ music by Smoke Jumper