The Vancouver Chat (Reboot!)

Finding someone you’re attracted to is one thing. Determining whether that person could be a compatible lifelong partner is something much more complicated.

In this interactive workshop, Garrett Lang will walk us through the process he developed for finding and evaluating a potential lifelong partner. Rather than relying mainly on chemistry, first impressions, or the hope that major differences will eventually disappear, Garrett’s approach is designed to help people get to know each other deliberately before making a serious commitment.

We’ll explore why Garrett recommends beginning with friendship, allowing time to observe someone’s character, and discussing the subjects that often create major problems only after a relationship has become serious.

Garrett will explain how to:
• Identify the beliefs and priorities you would not compromise for anyone
• Ask a potential partner about their own non-negotiables
• Distinguish manageable differences from fundamental incompatibilities
• Evaluate intellectual, emotional, physical, philosophical, spiritual, and lifestyle compatibility
• Compare values and understand which ones matter most to each person
• Discuss major life-path questions involving children, family, career, finances, location, social life, and privacy
• Determine whether attraction and chemistry are supported by genuine friendship and compatibility
• Observe whether care, effort, respect, and commitment are reciprocal

Participants will also have an opportunity to begin creating their own partner-compatibility framework. We’ll consider which qualities are essential, which are preferences, where compromise is possible, and which differences should be treated as warning signs.

Some of the questions we’ll discuss include:
• Should a romantic relationship begin as a friendship?
• What should you learn about someone before becoming deeply committed?
• How much compatibility is necessary for a relationship to last?
• Which differences can strengthen a relationship, and which are likely to create lasting conflict?
• How should we balance chemistry with reason?
• What does it mean for two people to be compatible if they prioritize different kinds of connection?
• How can the FTI’s Six Intentions help us choose—and become—better partners?

There is no guaranteed formula for finding the right person. However, a thoughtful process can help us make one of life’s most consequential decisions with greater self-awareness, honesty, reason, and compassion.

Whether you are single, dating, considering a serious commitment, already partnered and polyamorous, or simply interested in understanding long-term relationships, you are welcome to participate.

Format:
Lecture and discussion

We publish our event recordings on our Youtube channel to offer our help to anyone who would like to but can’t attend the meeting, so we need to give this clause. If you don’t want to be recorded, just remain on mute and keep your video off.

Here’s our legal notice:

Recording and Media Release Notice

For valuable consideration received, by joining this event I hereby grant Free Thinker Institute and its legal representatives and assigns, the irrevocable and unrestricted right to record, use, reproduce, edit, modify, publish, distribute, display, transmit, and otherwise exploit any and all Zoom recordings, photographs, audio recordings, screenshots, and other media captured during the event, in whole or in part, for trade, advertising, educational, promotional, commercial, or any other lawful purpose, in any media now known or hereafter developed. I further grant Free Thinker Institute the right to alter, edit, combine, crop, or otherwise modify such recordings without restriction.

I hereby release and discharge Free Thinker Institute and its legal representatives and assigns from any and all claims, demands, causes of action, damages, liabilities, costs, or expenses arising out of or related to such recordings and uses.

Except as expressly authorized in writing by Free Thinker Institute, attendees may not record, copy, reproduce, distribute, rebroadcast, livestream, transmit, publish, display, excerpt, edit, create derivative works from, or commercially exploit any portion of the event or its recordings. Unauthorized recording, publication, posting, sharing, or redistribution of any portion of the event, including on YouTube, social media platforms, websites, podcasts, or other media channels, is strictly prohibited and may constitute copyright infringement and a violation of these event terms. Free Thinker Institute reserves all rights and remedies available under applicable law, including the right to seek injunctive relief, monetary damages, statutory damages, attorneys' fees where permitted, and any other available legal or equitable remedies.

By attending the event, I acknowledge that I have read, understood, and agree to these terms.

Description:

How did we get into this mess? Government no long represents the people; the result is that our future is now existentially threatened. This state of affairs has been in the making for a very long time. In one sense, it can be traced back to the agricultural revolution, when people replaced sharing what a community could hunt and gather with hoarding. Think of this as the beginning of a transition from horizontal societies, where power is shared, to vertical societies, where the people on top hold inordinate power. Since then, developments in culture and civilization have time and again reinforced the power-based vertical structures. Recently, however, the technologies that can threaten us also offer us a way out, if we know how to use them. Paul LaClair will expand on this thesis, and invite hearty and vigorous discussion.

Here’s our legal notice:

Recording and Media Release Notice

For valuable consideration received, by joining this event I hereby grant Free Thinker Institute and its legal representatives and assigns, the irrevocable and unrestricted right to record, use, reproduce, edit, modify, publish, distribute, display, transmit, and otherwise exploit any and all Zoom recordings, photographs, audio recordings, screenshots, and other media captured during the event, in whole or in part, for trade, advertising, educational, promotional, commercial, or any other lawful purpose, in any media now known or hereafter developed. I further grant Free Thinker Institute the right to alter, edit, combine, crop, or otherwise modify such recordings without restriction.

I hereby release and discharge Free Thinker Institute and its legal representatives and assigns from any and all claims, demands, causes of action, damages, liabilities, costs, or expenses arising out of or related to such recordings and uses.

Except as expressly authorized in writing by Free Thinker Institute, attendees may not record, copy, reproduce, distribute, rebroadcast, livestream, transmit, publish, display, excerpt, edit, create derivative works from, or commercially exploit any portion of the event or its recordings. Unauthorized recording, publication, posting, sharing, or redistribution of any portion of the event, including on YouTube, social media platforms, websites, podcasts, or other media channels, is strictly prohibited and may constitute copyright infringement and a violation of these event terms. Free Thinker Institute reserves all rights and remedies available under applicable law, including the right to seek injunctive relief, monetary damages, statutory damages, attorneys' fees where permitted, and any other available legal or equitable remedies.

By attending the event, I acknowledge that I have read, understood, and agree to these terms.