Clown

Join us every in Kentish Town for an evening of indoor basketball. Players of all skill levels are welcome to our friendly and competitive weekly match. Couple of points to be aware of: * Wednesdays (7p-8pm) * Kentish Town * 5 v 5 (1 sub per team) * All genders and skill levels welcome * Confirmation of spot and address will be shared via WhatsApp Please whatsapp Alex if you're interested in coming! 07816909832 See you out there!

**Low Stakes Comedy is a weekly stand-up night in Streatham Hill.** Every Wednesday at The Hamlet, a mix of new and experienced comedians perform short sets in an intimate basement room. **The Hamlet** 10 Streatham High Road London SW16 1DB 🕖 Doors 7:00pm 🎤 Show 7:30–9:30pm 🎟 £5 entry. Pay on the door or book in advance via Eventbrite. Limited capacity. Advance tickets: [https://LowStakesComedy.eventbrite.co.uk](https://LowStakesComedy.eventbrite.co.uk) **What happens at Low Stakes Comedy stays at Low Stakes Comedy.**

Hi folks! Welcome to our March Cloud Native London meetup! Join us to hear from our three great speakers and network with your fellow techies over pizza and drinks, or alternatively chat and following along on Youtube! 6:00 Pizza and drinks 6:30 Welcome 6:45 Predictable Systems in an Unpredictable World (Behrad Babaee, Aerospike) 7:15 Observability with HAProxy: detecting what is not working and why (Baptiste Assmann, HAProxy Technologies) 7:45 Break 8:00 eBPF: Revolutionizing Cloud-Native Security (Alam Ahmed) 8:30 Wrap up See you there! Cheryl (@oicheryl) **Predictable Systems in an Unpredictable World (Behrad Babaee, Aerospike)** Modern systems are challenged by volatility. Traffic patterns shift without warning, workloads evolve continuously, and failures are no longer exceptional events. In this environment, average performance is meaningless. What matters is whether systems behave predictably when conditions change. This session explores how system design choices determine behavior under volatility. We will discuss why many modern architectures rely on fragile assumptions about steady-state workloads, cache locality, or predictable growth, and how those assumptions break down in real production environments. Through concrete examples and architectural discussion, we will examine what it means to design systems that remain predictable as load, access patterns, and scale evolve. The goal is not to showcase tools or benchmarks, but to build a shared mental model for thinking about predictability as a first-class system property. *Behrad Babaee is a software engineer who leads Product Marketing at Aerospike, shaping positioning and go-to-market strategy for real-time data systems in the AI era.* *He began his career building scalable, distributed applications for organisations including Barclays and Credit Suisse, before moving into architecture and field leadership roles at Aerospike and DataStax.* *Today, he combines deep engineering expertise with strategic product leadership, focusing on how organisations design systems that remain predictable, resilient and performant under real-world volatility.* **Observability with HAProxy: detecting what is not working and why (Baptiste Assmann, HAProxy Technologies)** Is it the network, the app, or the database? In complex microservices environments, "mean time to innocence" is a critical metric for platform engineers. HAProxy sits at the convergence of these traffic flows, providing a unique vantage point to answer the ultimate observability question: "WTF is going on?". We'll do a deep dive into the metrics that matter, so you can detect anomalies before users complain. You will learn: * The difference between monitoring and observability in a reverse proxy context. * How to access HAProxy’s detailed logs, stats, and stick-tables. * How to analyze the "life of a request" using precise timers to pinpoint latency sources. * How to use HAProxy’s observability features to fix real-world issues (demo) * How HAProxy Fusion provides centralized observability and automation for enterprise deployments at scale. *Baptiste Assmann is Director of Product at HAProxy Technlogoes. He spent his carreer on networking and high performance architecture. Today, he plays a key role on HAProxy's ecosystem evolution: from bare metal to Kubernetes and from load balancing to advanced security at scale and always looking forward for what's next!* **eBPF: Revolutionizing Cloud-Native Security (Alam Ahmed)** eBPF: Revolutionizing Cloud-Native Security from the Kernel Up Cloud-native architectures have fundamentally broken traditional security models. While 67% of organizations now delay deployments due to Kubernetes security concerns, conventional tools remain blind to the dynamic, ephemeral nature of containers—operating from the outside looking in, missing critical kernel-level threats until it's too late. This session reveals how eBPF (extended Berkeley Packet Filter) is transforming cloud-native security by moving visibility and enforcement directly into the Linux kernel. Through real-world case studies from Meta, Google, and Cloudflare—where eBPF processes billions of packets per second and mitigates multi-terabit DDoS attacks—you'll discover how this technology delivers 10x performance improvements with <1% CPU overhead. We'll explore the production-ready CNCF ecosystem (Falco, Tetragon, Cilium) and demonstrate practical security observability patterns: process execution monitoring, network correlation with Kubernetes context, file integrity tracking, and syscall anomaly detection. No kernel modules. No code changes. Complete visibility. Whether you're battling container escapes, cryptojacking, or compliance gaps, this talk provides the architectural blueprint for security that matches the speed and scale of cloud-native—without sacrificing agility. *Alam Ahmed is a Junior Cloud & DevOps Engineer with NOC operations experience and a focus on cloud security. He has spoken at Elastic London and Yorkshire DevOps on Security as Code practices, contributes to open-source projects including Envoy AI Gateway, and is passionate about kernel-level observability and cloud-native defense.* ***Check out [https://www.oicheryl.com/cloudnativelondon](https://www.oicheryl.com/cloudnativelondon) if you're interested in speaking or sponsoring.***

Our acclaimed Wednesday workshop returns - we'll be looking at Lorca's classic drama exploring fate, passion, and societal expectations. A bride elopes with her former lover on her wedding day, triggering deadly consequences. Rich in poetic symbolism and folk traditions, the play confronts love’s destructive force and the inevitability of death and honor. We will be working towards A FULL PRODUCTION in April 2026.. If you'd like to get involved email: actinggymnasium [at] [gmail.com](http://gmail.com/)

**What we are about:** Life drawing sessions every Wednesday 7.30pm-9.30pm This class is for all drawing levels, aiming to improve your own drawing style and learning about drawing the human form and anatomy in a relaxed and friendly environment. The class invites you to study guided or untutored with professional models in a variety of different poses. Usually we begin with a series of short poses and warm up exercises from 1min to 5mins. Followed by longer studies of 10, 15 and 20mins. We have a small break and the we’ll continue with a 25 min pose and concluding with a 20 minute pose. A different model each week All levels welcome Guidance given/optional Drawing materials and paper provided and included in the price. We are a friendly, welcoming, sociable group. Price: Drop-in, single session £15 - weekly sessions art materials and paper provided You can pay by cash or use this pay pal link : // [paypal.me/CreativeLifeDrawing](http://paypal.me?CreativeLifeDrawing) please choose - pay friends and family members If you like to secure your spot you can pay via this meet-up site but they will add some additional fees. CreativeLifeDrawing [J_wolfmail@yahoo.com](mailto:J_wolfmail@yahoo.com) Jennifer Wolf

A Deep Rest Pop-Up at The Ministry, SE1 An intentional pause in the middle of the city. **Calm the Flow Down** is a candlelit Yoga Nidra experience designed for creatives and professionals who understand that restoration supports clarity, creativity, and resilience. You’ll be guided into deep rest while lying comfortably, allowing the nervous system to slow and the mind to soften without effort. No movement. No meditation experience required. Expect a calm atmosphere, thoughtful pacing, and a space to fully switch off before returning to the world outside. Spaces are intentionally limited. Deep rest is not indulgent. It’s essential.

**Park Theatre presents a double bill of two queer plays "Tell Me Straight" and "Aggy".** You will need to buy your tickets in advance from the [Park Theatre website](https://parktheatre.co.uk/) - £32 for a combined ticket for both plays. I will be there from 1800 - the Park Theatre has a decent bar and pizza offering. **Tell Me Straight** (first on the bill at 1900) - Following sold-out runs at The King’s Head and Chiswick Playhouse, Paul Bradshaw’s multi award-winning debut play is back! Him’s long line of hookups have one thing in common; they’re all straight. Best friend Dani thinks he needs to fix up and finally find ‘a gay man who actually likes gay men!’ But straight guys are like buses… A 30-day detox is just what he needs – no booze, no fast food and no men! Buuuuut will distractions in the form of wide-eyed Lee, fuck boy Ryan and oldest friend Matt prove to be derailing? Or will Him finally change his ways and see what is right in front of him? Followed by **Aggy** at 2045 - Lawrence and Mahlik have been together for a year. It’s going pretty well on all accounts. So when Mahlik’s contract is up at his flat, it’s only logical that they move in together. After a particularly tough rejection, Mahlik makes a risky suggestion for Lawrence’s next project, proposing that Lawrence present as an alter ego to secure more opportunities. As success starts to roll in, this fabricated persona leaves the couple facing uncomfortable truths neither of them can ignore. aggy is a bold one-act play exploring privilege, gender, race and creativity. It’s about art and who gets to make it. The play unflinchingly examines how people freely police one another, and how this can lead to destruction.

**Caller: Frank Buschelmann** **Band: The Rosenthorns** **Big Scioty Contra Dance** **temporarily returning to our long ago location for Jan-March - First Congregational Church, 444 E. Broad St., Columbus 43215** WHAT IS CONTRA DANCING? Picture the Grand Ball scenes like you’ve seen in period films such as “Pride and Prejudice”, where the dancers are lined up in long lines, across from each other. That’s English Country Dancing, the predecessor of contra dancing. Now, add moves like “swing your partner” and “do-si-do,” like you’ve seen in square dancing. Set it to fabulous, high energy, live music with fiddles, guitars, percussion and more, alá “Riverdance.” Finally, set the whole scene down in the middle of Woodstock, with a hip, groovy atmosphere, a bit of tie-dye, and hints of counter-culture attitude. THAT’s Contra Dancing! Wear cool and comfortable clothes (you will get warm) and clean shoes that won't mark up our nice wood floor. Be sure to come for the beginner's lesson from 7:30 - 8:00, followed by dancing 8:00 - 10:30. All dances are taught; we will help you learn! Beginners always welcome, no need to bring a partner. Cost is $10.00 adults, $5.00 ages 12-26. Under 12 free. Free parking in church lot. For more information contact me or check out our website: [www.bigscioty.com](http://www.bigscioty.com/) Please bring your own refillable water bottle. Snacks to share are always welcome!

Do you sometimes feel like you do well in life then something happens and you slide back, never quite getting ahead. At this Meetup you'll find out how to identify what actually causes the lows, the highs and everything in between. More importantly you’ll get the secret of how to gain control over your life so the highs are higher and the lows go away. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop the wild roller coaster ride for good? Or at least make it a fun roller coaster ride, with more ups and downs. There is a hidden factor that will be going over and you’re going to be quite surprised what it is and how much it affects your life. Be sure to click on the red "Attend" button below to come to the event. We look forward to seeing you there. This group is hosted at the Dianetics and Scientology Life Improvement Center.

Join us as we get together for a CMG-favorite event, the OSCAR PARTY AND RED CARPET BASH at the Drexel Theatre! The highlight of the movie year live on the big screen always makes for a fun and memorable evening! Here are details for this event: WHAT TO EXPECT: This year’s ceremony will be hosted once again by Conan O’Brien. In addition to the Oscars on the big screen, your ticket includes a Meal Deal from the Drexel’s new food partner Newfangled Kitchen (I’m checking on vegetarian/vegan options) along with unlimited popcorn and sodas, a free box of candy, and your first beer, wine or specialty drink on the house! Also included: Oscar-themed trivia with prizes from local businesses, on-site paparazzi, and the Drexel's Oscar ballot contest with a chance to win a year of free Drexel movies! Plus, the BEST and most FUN way to watch the Oscars with fellow film fans and your CMG friends! ADVANCE TICKETS: General public tickets are $45 but Movie Group Members and their guests get in for just $35! Here’s how to purchase your tickets: \* Option 1 – In Person: You can purchase at the ticket counter anytime during operating hours. Just mention you are with the Columbus Movie Group for the discounted rate. \* Option 2 – Online: If you prefer to purchase online, you can do so by going to the link below and following these instructions: 1. Click the link below. 2. Click the little TICKETS box then click BUY TICKETS. 3. If you are a Drexel Member, you can log in here to receive the Member/Group rate, which is the same. If you are not a Drexel member, click “No” and the $40 Rate will pop up. But, don’t fret. It’s a little hard to find but there’s a “Promotion Code” section on the screen. Click the “Know a Promotion Code?” box, enter “CMG2026” (case sensitive) and submit. Select the appropriate number of tickets in the Discount Rate section and click “Add.” Next “Proceed to Checkout” then “Checkout” and enter your credit card info. There’s a $1.50 online service fee but it’ll save you a trip to the Drexel. (If you don’t already have one, you will need to sign in or create an account first.) Sellout possible so please purchase yours as soon as possible in advance! LINK FOR TICKETS (See Above Instructions): https://prod1.agileticketing.net/websales/pages/info.aspx?evtinfo=373546\~e2e0a350-c626-4e33-bc63-27e983f4aecf&epguid=ab0b2f82-403c-4972-9998-5475e7dcfa0e&mdy=3/15/2026& DRESS: Dressing up for the occasion art of part of the fun! Dress up as much as you like – there will be everything from casual to formal at the event! Or you can go in character as one of this year’s nominated films! ARRIVAL: Doors open for CMG at 5:30pm so that’s when we’ll plan to meet! That’ll give us plenty of time to fill out our Oscar Ballots, pick up some free popcorn, candy, and something to drink, mix, mingle, take some photos, pick up your Newfangled Kitchen Meal Deal, grab a seat in our CMG Reserved Section, then settle in to enjoy the Academy Awards on the Big Screen! PICTURES: We’ll take pics throughout the evening and the Drexel Paparazzi will be on hand as well. We’ll also take a big group photo around 6:40 near the entrance before the show begins. If you happen to take some good shots yourself, be sure to upload them on the Oscar Party Meetup event! RESERVED SEATING: As you enter the theater, the roped off section to the right marked “Reserved” is reserved for you, your guest(s) and the Columbus Movie Group! VEGAN MEALS: As previously mentioned, the food vendor does NOT have a vegan option at this year’s Oscar Party. However, we DO have a solution! I have reached out to several individuals who are affected. If you are a vegan, plan to attend the Oscar Party and did not receive an e-mail from me, please reach out via private message post a note below. I’ll provide details off-line. And while there won’t be a vegan meal option this year, I think we do have a workable solution. And, all other plans are usiness-as-usual: popcorn, sodas, candy, on-site paparazzi, decorations, bar drinks (including your first drink on the house), the Drexel’s Annual Oscar ballot contest, along with the Big Show on the Big Screen and a fun group of Movie Group friends to watch ‘em with! BONUS LINKS: \* COMPLETE LIST OF NOMINEES: https://deadline.com/lists/2026-oscar-nominations-list/ \* INTERESTING ARTICLE ON RECORDS BROKEN, SUPRISING FACTS AND OSCAR FIRSTS: https://abc7.com/post/oscar-nominations-2026-surprising-facts-nominees-98th-oscars/18448908/ \* SHORT VIDEO MONTAGE OF THIS YEAR’S BEST PICTURE NOMINEES: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3abMnrsaUA \* FUN VIDEO OF OSCAR NOMINEES HEARING THEIR NOMINATIONS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6eY1yGQ2aU PARKING: Parking is available along Main Street in front of the theater, on Drexel Avenue, and other nearby side streets. Additional parking is available at the Bexley Municipal Parking Lot (two driveways west of the theatre). LINK: Should be a fun & festive evening and a terrific way to celebrate a great year of movies together! Look forward to seeing you there, Dan

We'll meet at The Capital One Café, 167 Easton Town Center, Space A-103. This is in the main mall where the Microsoft store used to be, on your left if you're standing at the bottom of the AMC Theater escalator. Join us on Sunday for an hour of uninterrupted wordmaking! • What we'll do Join us for an hour of writing! We’ve discovered that it’s strikingly helpful to write with other writers. See if it’s true for you at noon on Sundays. Be it a book, blog, script, essay, dissertation, resume, melody, poem or just plain work stuff, you are invited to write it with us. No one will see what you've written or give you unsolicited advice. Instead of just thinking about writing, come and get some real writing done. SCHEDULE: 12:00 - quick intros. 12:10 - timer starts: write for 1 hour. 1:10 - chat / take off / keep writing. OPTIONAL SOCIALIZING happens at 1-1:30ish. Writing is very solitary. Connecting (and sometimes even commiserating) with other writers is a cool thing. BEING LATE IS OKAY: just show up and get settled, then check-in with me after the session. If you were on time, please be willing to make room for the friendly latecomer. Happy writing and I look forward to seeing you! • What to bring Whatever you need to be able to write! Bring earbuds/earplugs if you want to block noise or the occasional conversation by other patrons. Electrical outlets are limited, so charge your devices before whenever possible. See you at The Café on Sunday!

Join us as we get together to see the period drama / classic monster movie, THE BRIDE! The film is written/directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal and stars Jessie Buckley and Christian Bale in a new take on the classic tale, The Bride of Frankenstein. We'll be seeing this one on Thurs, 3/5 one day ahead of the film's opening on Friday. Here’s a description, trailer and plan for this event: DESCRIPTION: In 1930s Chicago, Frankenstein's creature asks Dr. Euphronius to create a companion for him. They give life to a murdered woman as "the Bride," sparking romance, police interest and radical social change. It is written, directed and co-produced by Maggie Gyllenhaal and stars Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Peter Sarsgaard, Annette Bening, Jake Gyllenhaal and Penélope Cruz. TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-qJkAXLfYM PARKING: Close, convenient parking is available in the nearby garage (located between 9th and 11th, just off High St). Bring your ticket with you and have it validated at the theater and for $2, you’re covered for the night! PLAN: Please purchase your ticket for the 7:00pm showing and we’ll meet inside the upstairs lobby between 6:40 and 6:50pm. Advance ticket purchase is advised (via Gateway website preferred). Once you have yours, please list your seat number in the Comments below! Pre-show bite at Cazuela’s next door at 5:30pm. Please arrive by 5:30pm and ask for the Movie Group! Look forward to seeing you there, Dan